Relationships are fragile. Even the strongest of bonds can get shattered and ruined. Sometimes the relationships we think will survive all the odds might be on the verge of being ruined. And you might end up thinking, “Why did this happen?” “What did I do wrong?” “Is it my fault?” You might be thinking of the bigger mistakes, but it is the small things that do the damage. When the butterflies fade away, you might ignore the little things that are slowly digging a hole and ruining your relationship. Yes the fear of losing someone always lingers and makes us worried. But that doesn’t mean that you should be ignoring everything and blindly makes mistakes. One mistake and it might cost you everything you have built so far with your partner. If you’re not mindful about the things you say and do in your relationship, you might end up alone. It will give your partner a reason to doubt your intentions and commitment, which might lead to conflicts. If you don’t want to ruin your relationship, why not try to mend it by being careful and aware of the mistakes you shouldn’t be making in a relationship.
1. Complaining about Your Partner to Everybody Else
This can be a big one it probably makes for great entertainment if you have a jealous partner who checks your phone hourly, but this is ultimately, counterproductive, to say the least. Not only are you putting off confronting the problem, but what are minor annoyances can gradually snowball into something bigger the more you bring them up, causing you to no longer see the good in your partner and what made them so endearing in the first place.
2. Moving too quickly.
Relationships have a better chance for survival if they are eased into. When a relationship moves too quickly, there is one partner that is at least a little uncomfortable with the pace. Avoid rushing and enjoy the process. It is not just about the destination, it is about the journey.
3. Disconnecting from your partner.
Over the course of time, some couples will feel disconnected from each other. This does not mean that your relationship is destined to fail, but both parties should take a step back and figure out the culprit. Why do you think you are feeling disconnected from each other? Is it a major life transition that neither of you have really talked about, feelings of being unappreciated, disagreement on the direction of your relationship, or maybe just lack of quality time together?
4. To think that your relationship is the source of all your happiness.
Some people become so deeply involved in their relationships that they begin to see it as their only source of happiness in the world. That burden is impossible to bear for anyone, no matter how much they love you, no one should be seen as the source of all your happiness because no one can live up to that level of expectation, no matter how much love they have for you. Always remember to find happiness in yourself before seeking happiness in others.
5. To think that broken trust cannot be returned
When someone breaks your trust, it hurts, it hurts more than we know how to handle, but it happens and we all go through it. But the key here is to remember how much you love the person; if you love her enough, then you need to have faith in the trust you can rebuild with your partner. It’s not going to be an easy task, every day, your mind will tell you to stop working so hard on what can’t be fixed, but slowly and gradually the trust that you two once had will return, perhaps not in the unusual way. he was once inside, but in a fixed state that can be prepared and made stronger than ever.
6. Thinking it’s okay to lie ” a little”
Lying is bad, regardless of the details. Your lie may be very small and harmless, but it’s still a lie. And once you allow yourself to agree to “lie a little,” you will slowly move towards the direction of “lie a lot.” One lie leads to another lie and soon you will find yourself in a ruthless web of lies and you have no way of getting rid of that horrible web. So don’t lie, just don’t, the truth can have bad consequences at first, but they allow you to move on without the fear of hiding something and lying about it.
7. Ignoring problems.
It’s understandable that you might not want to rock the boat by bringing up an issue when things are going okay. Or you might dodge a difficult conversation when your relationship is struggling because you don’t want to risk making things worse. But denying problems won’t make them go away. In fact, unaddressed issues are likely to get worse over time. Of course, timing is everything when you bring up problems but don’t use this as an excuse to avoid talking about an issue. There’s never a perfect time to hold a difficult conversation, and while you may argue or disagree, it’s better to address problems head-on so you can begin to fix them.
8. Not listening to one another.
Poor listening comes in several forms. Some people stare at their smartphones without hearing what their partner says. Other people begin working on their counter-arguments without trying to understand their partner’s point of view. No matter what form it takes, not listening is a major relationship problem. You can prevent and solve a lot of these problems by listening to what your partner is saying. Keep in mind that listening doesn’t mean “staying quiet,” however. Really listening involves trying to understand what the other person is communicating. Make eye contact, ask questions, and reflect back on what you think your partner is trying to say, before diving in to share your opinion.
9. You found fault with their family.
Not fully loving your partner’s family as much as they do can happen, but this is one of the bad habits that could put and end to your relationship, Even if their parents are difficult to handle, having clashing of heads can be hard on your relationship, especially if you are constantly focused on the family’s faults and what they are doing wrong. This goes both ways, however, since hearing constantly criticism from their family directed at you can also be a strain on your relationship.
10. Always proving yourself right
If you communicate with your partner for the sole purpose of proving yourself right then you are simply ruining your relationship. Arguments are an inevitable part of a relationship. They will happen. Two people with different mindsets coming together can lead to disagreements. But don’t focus on proving yourself right every time you fight.
11. Not apologizing for your mistakes
Two people with totally different mindsets can have their egos clash. But that shouldn’t blur your sense of “whose fault it is”. If you have made a mistake, you should apologize. Not accepting your fault can doom your relationship. Act like a mature person like you are. If you have made a mistake or hurt your partner, just say sorry. It is important in relationships to take responsibility for your mistakes.
12. Trying to Control or Change Our Loved One
This is a big one. I know we all “know” we shouldn’t enter a relationship expecting to change anyone, but subconsciously we still try. The next time you are feeling push back in your relationship that quite not right feeling take an honest look at your motives for some of your recent actions. Are you trying to manipulate, change, or control the situation or your partner? Really think about it. Sometimes on the surface our actions look innocent (especially to ourselves) but if we dig deeper we will be surprised at what we find. Trying to control is just another way of trying to change.
13. Expecting Perfection
Perfection is a myth. You cannot have a perfect relationship. You cannot be a perfect girlfriend. You cannot expect a perfect husband. We have been sold the idea that if we find our true soul mate, everything will be perfect. So what happens? When we realize that our partner or our relationship has flaws, we run for the hills because we believe that means the they were not “the one. Or we may let other’s opinions of what a “perfect relationship” should look like influence how we view our relationship and when we don’t measure up, we decide something must be wrong