I have loved you for an era, but you seem not to understand how deep it frustrates me, to never receive what I genuinely offer.
Your love for me has been ping pong, you are a very good player. you call me “boo, hun and bae”, how engaging your lips whistles them out.
But you don’t seem to understand the damage it wrecks to express feelings that is not deeply rooted. probably the reason why our friendship remain barren.
I reminisce about the past, when we are much younger, we used to talk for hours, and you trusted me with your whole, you called me your twin, only if you knew how comforting that made me feel.
We talked about everything and anything, how innocent our feelings were. As we grew older, we grew apart. I never stopped loving you, I even had a vision of you walking on the aisle, in a white dress, such a blissful moment, it took my breath away, When I woke up I resonated in my spirit “you are my wife”.
READ ALSO | DEEP LOVE LETTER TO HER
Imagination seduced me to think we could give birth to twins. I saw them boys, they were both healthy and talented. One was really good in playing basketball, the other was really creative.
Everything was right until age broke us apart. I understand the pond between us, but I was willing to walk on the water and never look back or down.
I drew a map and made plans for the future. I built a house in my imagination, how peaceful it was to have you in it.
It had our initials on the door, I could even see the garden and the boys playing, I wanted to bring this to reality, but coronavirus came and tied my hands, everything is now on lockdown but I fought to cut my self loose but it seems am fighting for a lost cause…..
Recently It felt like reality slapped my ear, ooh it hurts !! The whirl sound made me conscious, it’s crazy how unconventional I have loved you from a distance.
Such a sacrificial love, I was willing to abandon my progress, because I saw the future clearly with you by my side.
I was shattered the day you confided with me saying “ I don’t see that future with you”. I tried to pick up my pieces but i ended getting cut too deep, it will take a miracle for me to heal.
You dated those boys, even though they had no faith in you or see what I see, when I look into your deep brown eyes.
If hearts were screen and my mind a digital video , I would gladly play you episodes of my uncharted emotions.
This was supposed to be forever but You don’t seem to understand the passion behind my love for you.
Remembering our conversation, when you revealed to me about your ex(s) I was jealous, our discussion felt cold and an unrealistic touch of betrayal was written all over your words, but am such a good actor, pretending that I cared.
Sadly I couldn’t ignore my feelings because my fate was so entwined with yours, I felt your pain when you explained how you tried to endure them but failed…
I felt Like this was my chance, to claim my heart in a human Form as you are finally single. I tried a million times, writing, critically thinking on how to express how I truly felt but my carefully ordered words to you only felt like heat rashes, you acted irritated, frowned to my emotions and friend zoned me, you made it clear “I see you like a brother”.
You broke my heart with your friendly advice. I picked courage and advised my soul, knowing fully well that this will never work.
I tried many times and gave up many times. Such an adventure won’t be complete without a note of remembrance.
I shed tears of rain, compiling this memories. it feels like a needle is piercing my big heart, everything Felt cold, faded to the dust, I guess am the only one feeling the pain, I wasn’t perfect but I was willing to be molded in your kiln.
I was ready to become your perfect man. Even though that doesn’t exist but I was brazen enough to allow you conquer me with love but all I got was resentment.
You always complained about being alone and unwanted, but I have wanted you for 15 years but all I waited for was rejection after another, wine get stronger with age but our friendship got sour with time.
It hurts knowing you read my messages and ignore them, it hurt seeing you online and couldn’t get a hold of you.
When ever I start forgetting you, you sneak in from the back with your sugary words, “hope you are okay, am trying to check up on you with a bunch of heart emoji”.
You seem so innocent in your eyes and perfect in your ways, I was the black sheep but my love was true.
I understand you are battling your own demons, I was equipped like a knight waiting to fight your battles, how could you know, you never paid attention, you sucked away my innocence, you suffocate me with your friendly words.
My heart bled but it couldn’t even change me, for am stronger when I write my pain. am breaking the yoke you put round my neck.
You turned a king to a salve, but that changed when you failed to love me back. How unlucky you were and how lucky I am, for I have found my purpose in these message.
Am sure you will read this letter one day and feel the love that is long gone, your memory would be treasured without regrets. My #love for you was powerful, it has life so it became an instruction to my posterity and to hearts that will read in enthusiasm…